Personal Development for Women

Desire or Need it ?

2009-06-06T05:45:00.000-07:00

Desire is a powerful and healthy magnet!
Desire is self-motivating!
Desire is spiritually uplifting!
Desire is definitely positive!
Yes! Yes! and You can say it again!
(with your hands clasp together!)

on the other hand..

A Need is simply what you feel obligated to, a tiny threat, a Must which could simply be directly link to your unfinished past or your childhood experiences.

A yearning Need is very energy-draining .
A negative magnet.
It is sleep depriving.
It is attention seeking!
It is going to haunt you for many nights or even years and eventually it is going to bother you tirelessly for the rest of your life, unless you choose to STOP it.

Yes! Yes!

Desire makes you feel great!

Desire makes you feel you have enough but you simply want it!

On the other hand..
Needs makes you feel insecure.
Needs makes you feel forever lack.

Beware!

Even the Need to give, to donates. Need to listen, to emphasize. Need to love and forgive & forget will only makes you feel more miserable.

Instead! choose to Desire! ..

to Listen! to know more! Desire to Love! to feel good! Desire to give, to share! and your world will be whole lot bigger!

Do you feel you Need to have a marriage, a healthy body? A Need to have a good relationship, a career that can and polish your potential and that Europe trip that can expand your horizon?

Choose to.. Desire instead! and see the Smile already on your face! See the Europe trip coming! See the fun you are having! and see all these Desire making your expansion whole lot healthier!

With Angelic Love,
Monica

Great Hair For Great Woman - Love It!

2009-04-18T02:54:00.000-07:00

My sister, who had always entrusted her hair-dyeing to professional at her favourite salon had recently learned an environmental-friendly way of dyeing grey hair and she had eagerly shared her beauty tips with me. No chemical products, no strong smell or messy coating around our shoulders.

She heard of using coffee-powder added with some warm water and Eureka! a new hair product is born! She even offered me free coffee-powder to take home, along with a 'How to' list for dyeing my grey hair.

Well, it is not that I had never ever dye my hair the professional way or the DIY way before. In fact, I had several experiences in dyeing my hair, since no-grey-hair age to eventually greying-hair age. From dyeing the professional way (the costlier) to dyeing the DIY way (the cheaper) was never a dilemma for me.

Ultimately, I came to realise something - dyeing hair leads to dieing hair.

In fact, I had came to enjoy my full head of hair as it is, or as they are, so to speak. I knew all along that I was in fact blessed with a full head of lots and lots of thick and dense hair! ! I simply love my hair, love combing my hair, love 'brushing' my fingers through my hair. And guess what? I love to keep my hair thick and long, just as it is! This is truly against what most, if not all, of my hairdressers strongly recommended - thin them, layer them - so as to look more of an average? NO WAY!!

I had decided long ago, to simply LOVE! my hair as they are, and guess what again? They seems to grow to LOVE me back! They are more manageable, no split-ends, no frizzy hair.. with some grey hair, SO WHAT! that's natural growing! I am not bothered at all and so I DON'T feel bothered at all!

On the other hand, my husband had thin and scarcely grown hair, but well, he is not bothered by it either. Guess no one commented on his hair and till this day, I still see him happily combing his hair every morning. And who cares if he will turns bald one day? Who won't?

Is there anything strange when a old man is bald? Or a old lady has a full head of grey hair ? To me, it's part of nature, part of human living.

Are you still worrying about your hair? Greying hair, split-ends, losing hair, thinning hair or any hair problem at all? Are you still trying out all sorts of hair products just like I had, hoping to regain more than something on your head? Well, if you see great improvement, good for you, but if you are trying in vain, then STOP trying!!

It is time for you to learn to accept who you are, from top to toe, including your crown-glory!! (That's one great name not for nothing!).

If you want to enjoy life just like me, simply follow these:-

1. LOVE your hair with your heart.
2. COMB your hair gently with LOVE.
3. PRAISE your hair each night before you go to bed. (Look into the mirror if you have to)
4. TOUCH your hair, only with TENDER LOVING CARE.
5. ADORN your hair only with fine ornaments.
6. CHOOSE hair-styling products wisely - putting harm to the minimal.
and
STOP yanking your hair.
STOP looking for grey hair or split-ends.
STOP comparing your hair with others'.

For a start, begins at learning how to wash your hair the right way. See my first article on how to have Great Hair for Great Woman Well Wash

Remember, with LOVE,

Monica

'Never Take This For Granted' -

2009-03-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

Many a time, I had insisted on upholding my one principle which I hopefully had instilled in my kids.

It's the 'Never Take This For Granted' principle.

For example,
'Never Take Friendship For Granted' ,
'Never Take family member's help For Granted'
'Never Take food laid on your table For Granted'
'Never Take stranger's help For Granted' et cetera.

(I was tempted to add 'Never Take tiger prawns For Granted' and 'Never Take library books For Granted.' But then it will turns obsolete as time passed.)

I wasn't sure if my kids ever take my advice for granted in any sense, but I sure am glad that I had uphold my principle as much and my effort had paid off, most, if not all of the time.

There were occasions when my kids were invited out for dinner but they won't take for granted and ordered food or drinks 'like nobody's business'. They even appreciated me cooking up a simple packet of 2-minutes instant noodle for them, and the tonic soup, and the herbal tea, pop the corns, concoct the Dino Milo, and I can still write on and on and on.

My husband came to benefit from my tireless preaching along the road of educating our two kids and appreciated the 'Never Take This For Granted' principle too.

At times, he would came home from his work and proclaimed that "Thank God I 'Never Take This For Granted!'" Be it that he'd double-checked his signal lights, double checked his change of fare, a road direction that had unknowingly diverted overnight, an additional traffic junction that just sprout out of nowhere or his childhood friend who used to booked his service on a regular basis...

"Friend is friend but when it comes to business, friend becomes customer. 'Never Take a friend conveniently For Granted!' "

I had to add that my husband and I 'Never Take Each Other For Granted either.

That's why until now, even after more than fifteen years of marriage and seeing each other over three meals a day, with occasional supper, we still enjoy each other's presence.

The point that our friends and relatives wondered why is he so polite to his wife over the several phone conversations or over our meals when he will always ordered my food or why I always make it a point to wait for his return or his meal to be served puzzled them. That's Okay! It simply showed that we 'Never Take Each Other For Granted '!

I appreciated that he always ordered food for me and he appreciated mine waiting for him to dug in together was always so loving and pleasurable! And don't be surprised if you see us stirring and serving drink to each other instead of just slurping up our drink when they were served.

'Never Take This For Granted has always been my one big Lifebuoy which may came in as a different form from others. You may want to think back and see your own lifebuoy or buoys, as you had came along so far in your life. Or you may want to adopt mine, which is guess what? 'Never Take This For Granted'. Try it! and See the outcome.

Feel free to drop your story here and share with other women who may still be searching for a lifebuoy. Life will be great with lots of sharing and love, without dire consequences.

With Love,

Monica

A-Z Ways To Praise A Child Or Someone You Love

2009-03-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

I had been noticing this particularly outstanding poster that I, myself, stuck it to the back of my kids' bedroom's door years ago. Whenever I walked passed their room, I was reminded of its existence and knew all this while that it was a golden rule that I, a mother, should be following it religiously.

The first time I got hold of that poster, I was glad and closed to being childishly delighted, who can I blame? Even till these days, as a mother of two, I myself would secretly wished that my mum would utter such 'nourishing' words to me and it would definitely makes my day. However, as time goes by and as I kept catching glances of that poster, rather than simply wishing I had been practising what I secretly honour, I genuinely knew I could do better than that.

Years had passed. Just last month, I was contemplating of removing that poster and forget about it altogether. After all, that poster was such a nagging reminder that I almost felt too burdened to practice what it preached. (Bear in mind, it had nothing to do with religion.) Now that I took a last look (or I thought so) at it, I found a long-lost love and decided to rekindled it by penning it down instead. I Knew even by the time that poster was torn or discarded, I still have this post on my blog to remind myself of its gist, and who knows, my daughter or son may happens to look up my blog one day and found my love.

I had devoted this post to honour the poster's gist - that poster's love, which was devoted to children. Here, I would like to include children of all ages. With that, I also include adults even seniors like my mum (now ages 73). She would smile and shows obvious delightfulness when I simply utter some 'nourishing' words to praise her. Smile. I am glad I still have the opportunity to contribute in bettering her life. Originally I had intended to copy religiously a 100%, from that poster, word for word, I began finding the listing rather dry. So I came up with this fun-way of alphabetically listing the praises and you can play it as a game, without the burden of committing to it. Have fun!

The rule is simple.
Rule No. 1: Start day one from 'A', utter such words like Awesome! Dear! (see suggestions list below) and ends your day as far towards 'Z' as you can. Don't worry even if you can't get past E or further on the first day.

Rule No. 2: Next day, start from 'A' again. This time aim at getting further (more) than the day before. have fun!

Rule No. 3: Always says it with love.

If you had forgotten where you had ended the day before or you had skipped (incidentally) a day or two without praising anyone, that's fine!

Simply start from Rule No. 1 again.
There is no penalty or forfeiture of any kind.

Here is a list of suggested words or phrases to kick start your thinking, you can add your additional words or phrases and if you are willing to share your development, please add your comment or email me.

Suggestions List:-

A - Awesome! Amazing! Absolutely, you are Almost there!
B - you have done your Best, Beautiful, Baby, you look Better already!
C - you are so Creative! Cute, you look Clean, what a Clever boy/girl/idea,
D - Dear, darling, I am so delighted, you look different..
E - Excellent!, Enjoy yourself!, be Easy on yourself,
F - Fantastic! you look Fresh, you are so Funny,
G - Great! Good! Gorgeous! what a Gift! that adds Glory!
H - Hooray! for you, Honey, Have fun! How true!
I - I'm Impressed!, you are Incredible!,
J - Just for you, what a Joy!,
K - 'Kick your heel!'
L - that's so Kind of you, Love ya!, Looking good!,
M - you Make me laugh, you Make my day!
N - Nice haircut! Neat!,
O - Outstanding!
P - I'm so Proud of you, Pretty, Perfect!
Q - Quite ___ ,
R - Right, (show Respect), There's always Rooms for improvement, you are so Romantic!
S - Sensational! Sweet! Super! you are Special, (always with a Smile),
T - Terrific!, Tasty! True..
U - That's Unique,
V - quite a Victory! Very ...
W - Wow! Well done! Wonderful! (put on a Wide smile!)
X - (X-tra hugs!)
Y - Yap! Yes,
Z - (Zip your lip for 10 seconds, when you are angry)

You can print the list out and paste it on any door or wall for easy reference. You can then add in your own idea onto the list and extend it for personal use!

So go ahead! Have fun and drop your praises from now! Don't forget to Praise yourself too!

With Love to all mums,
Monica

ps: Notice I only included positive phrases throughout my entire post and trying as such as possible to skip any negative suggestions or remarks. That goes the same to your using of phrases each day too.

Super Cleaning Tips - Household

2009-03-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

With one look, nobody can tell that I had been down the road of a active career-woman, raising two kids and tending to house chores for more than 15 years as well as obtaining a MOE Diploma during that period to being a full time housewife for more than three years. Bear in mind that we have a old dog, three cats and four kittens around the house to feed and clean up after.

Anyone might easily assume that I am a super cleaning woman by now.

However I can sincerely declare that daily cleaning & maintaining within the household is not only tedious but also mind cracking. That's why nowadays, I would rather close the front door so that no passerby will accidentally peeps in, saw what they saw and fainted on the spot.

So I came up with a list of items which are readily available and definitely common household items so that any woman can pick up and use one.

I listed them in alphabetical orders for easy reference:

Lemon, halved (sprinkle some salt on its cut-face):
scrub pots, pans, cups, glasses to remove stains.

Shaving Cream:
Shake and dispense a small knob of shaving cream onto your palm, spread some onto your old couch, massage chair, ... spread evenly, let the cream stand for a few minutes. Use a wet tissue to wipe over the cream and picks up any dirt along. Wipe off any residue with a kitchen towel, restaurant disposable napkin or just a piece of tissue. This will clean up any stain and leave the couch or chair with a refreshing morning-smell for a long time. Older stain may needs for than just one wipe. That's okay for now and you can get back to it for a second cleaning the next week. As slight cleaning is better than none and you can give yourself a pat on your own back.

Toothpaste (with an old tooth brush or a rag):
Squeeze some toothpaste from a left over tube or any toothpaste that is out of flavour onto an old toothbrush (or you can use it on a rag but that is not as effective as a toothbrush). Run the dirtied shoes or snickers under the tap for a quick rinse. Brush the toothpaste onto the shoes and scrub well into the dirt. Rinse off and brush again if necessary. Drip dry before hanging out to dry. I use this for my sandals too.

Vinegar:
Pour some vinegar (about a capful) into :-
1. Your washing machine. Add your regular detergent and wash the clothing, socks or towels as usual. It kills germs and odours well.

2. Your pail of floor cleaning detergent, mop as usual.

Place a bowl filled 1/2 with vinegar into :-
3. Microwave oven and heat for 2 minutes. Open the cover and clean the inner wall of the oven and the inner side of its door with a damp cloth. Let the hot vinegar to cool off before removing it from the microwave oven. It kills germs and odours well.

4. Microwave oven, heat for 2 minutes and carefully remove it and place it in a appropriate place (where children and pets won't be able to reach) and let it 'steam' up the room until it cools off. Heard it helps to kill virus such as SARS and flu, but personally I have not research on that yet.

Wet tissue, baby's:
5. Place one piece onto the spot where your baby or pet had accidents (urinated) and let it soaks up for a while before removing the wet tissue and cleans up the place with newspaper or any old cloths. The fresh smell of the wet tissue will still linger on after removing it and leave the bad odour no way to detect.

6. Use one to wipe clean any dirt off school shoes or expensive boots, let them dry before keeping them into their storage bag or cupboard.

This list is still expanding and it will definitely grow longer. So feel free to come back here every now and then for other cleaning tips.

You may want to email me about your super cleaning ideas that you wanted to share with other women.

With Love,
Monica

'Lucky Noodle' - With Love From Mum

2009-03-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

To all mummies with kids, let me starts with a story. A short one.

Years ago, one sunny day, our family was having lunch and my sweet 3-year-old had just started learning how to use a pair of chopsticks.

I was enjoying seeing him fished around a big bowl of rice noodle soup with his tiny fingers gripping around 2 sticks.

Out of nowhere (or right from that bowl of noodle soup, actually) a strand of yellow fat noodle floated up, amidst the bowlful of white rice noodle.

Nicholas stared at it for quite a while and seems not knowing what to do with it.

It pops up and looks totally different from the rest of the noodles in his bowl.

He was frowning, undecided what to do, with a 'to accept and eat it or what?' kinda expression.

I decided that this is a golden opportunity to teach him something (for once, this is something I came up with on the spot, actually) that he can from his mother.

So instead of telling him to pick it out and throw it away or simply swallow it, I said "Oh look! It's a Lucky Noodle!"

"What's a Lucky Noodle, Mummy?"

"It's one that appears odd in your bowl of normal noodles. You are lucky!"

"So I am lucky?"

"Of course! That's because you found a lucky noodle in your bowl!"

Nicholas accepted that that 'lucky' idea I came up with sounds great!

Since then, whenever he chanced upon something odd popping up in his daily routine (or in his bowl of noodles), he took it with a smile and recognised it as his Lucky Noodle!

These days, I would accept and appreciate my 'Lucky Noodle' whenever one pops up too. With a smile.

So have you noticed any Lucky Noodle in your life?

Accept it as a blessing and set your kids one good example that they can follow.

And remember, always with a smile, mums.
Monica.

Great Hair for Great Woman - Well Wash

2009-03-17T05:26:00.000-07:00

I happened to grabbed a copy of the latest issue of a local woman's magazine and flipping through I notice a question by a reader about whether to wash our hair with warm or cold water.

I now clarify how I maintain my glory and you can justify for yourself whether it convinces you.
By the way, all hairdressers I been to commented that I had lots of hair! Not just many, it's lots! and so far, with length close to my waist, no split ends.

So, read on and try out!

1. Wash at most on alternate days.
Too often of washing with shampoo and wetting it will be too harsh for your hair. Pulling will results while hair is wet too.

2. Comb with wide-tooth comb or simply runs your fingers through to tame your flock.
narrow-tooth combs are for styling purpose only.

3. Brush before bed, while you bend over and brush from back of neck to tip of hair. Make sure you do not leave any styling products on your hair over night.

4. If you had used styling products, then you might want to wash it off before going to bed. (even if it contradicts with No. 1 stated above).

5. Wash with lukewarm water and finish off by rinsing with tab-temperate water. NOT cold water, that is.

6. Dry your hair by likely squeeze out the water and wrap a towel and leave the towel on while you can proceed to leave the bathroom. (you can leave it on for 3 to 5 minutes, just remove it and turn it around to wrap it over your hair again for a good 'soak-up' of excess water from your hair.)

7. Remove towel, only lightly dab the wet towel around your hair to remove excess water. Do NOT rub with the towel!

8. Air dry, fluff a bit with your palm, if need.

9. Conditions your almost dried hair with leave-on conditioner, if you want to cut time.

10. Leaving your house or style your hair after washing? plan and wash your hair at least half an hour before hand.

12. Washing before bed-time? Air dry and stay awake for at least half an hour before lying down. Sleeping with damp hair is a No No.

13. Finally, wash your hair with TENDER LOVING CARE ... brush with love, comb with love and style your hair with love.

14. Before long, you will notice your lovely hair is attracting love to you too.

Extra Extra, wash your combs, brush or any hair accessories while waiting for your 'rinse-off' conditioner to be rinse or while towel-drying your hair. Wash them with your old, unused or sample hair shampoo which you no longer want to use yet do not feel like throwing them away. Use liberally.

I will add more extras on once I remember. Off to wash my hair now!

For additional post, look out for my Great Hair for Great Woman Love It

Happy Reading!
Monica

In Memory Of MAKI, Our Kitten Forever

2009-03-16T03:58:00.000-07:00

MAKI

was found one late night at a Neighbourhood Police Post. It was a breezy December in 2008.

Maki was sitting on a chair which was seemingly too high for her to jump off from. After asking for permission, we decided to took her in.

Although we already had a Chihuahua with us (see first picture, left), he was already 14 years old, partially blind and totally deaf.

He simply wouldn't feel bothered nor excited about the new member in the house.

Maki unfortunately passed away by the end of December 2008, after lying in my arm, refusing to eat. I fed her milk (for animals').

By the 3rd day, she laid curled up on the old towel I laid on my lap and she gradually stiffened up.

She now rest forever, peacefully in the flower bed under our oldest plant.

It has since been flowering regularly with vibrant energy.

To Maki, our kitten forever.

With Loving Memory.
Monica